Post by bring the funk, caitlin. on Apr 25, 2008 18:35:01 GMT -5
So i just randomly started the whole gang story and here's what it came out to;
Please share your critiques and opinions about it. :} I haven't proofread it yet so it's probably crap. ;'D
My eyes glazed over as i glanced to my right, my hands willingly clenching into fists, my footsteps instantly becoming hushed, my eyes aware, and my posture strict. Without hesitation, i dashed across the charcoal road, my bare arms pumping at my sides as blaring horns screeched into my ears with a sudden force that made me wince as barbaric drivers shouted curse words into my direction for running along the busy highway. But, i had to save her. I knew exactly what was coming next and i couldn't risk losing her. In my world, you stick up for yourself and your side, nothing more and certainly nothing less. But this was so much more then that. I had her back since day one and nothing could ever change that, even this looming night that scented death in the blissful air that clogged my lungs. Beads of tiny droplets of sweat were now visible on my tanned forehead, my breathing heavy and choppy, my legs shaking uneasily from the fierce run. My heart jerked so heavily that it made me gasp with shock, my legs now sprinting against the smooth pavement that had pieces of shattered glass spread over it. The shadowed figure that was now only a few blocks away from me yelled out to me hurriedly, their own arms pumping at their sides as they ran the opposite direction. I knew what this was. They were trying to protect me, and i knew exactly from what. My heart throbbed with acceleration as i soon rounded the steady corner of the sidewalk, my veins pulsing as my finger nails dug into my sticky skin. A deafening scream escaped from the shadows mouth as they clutched their abdomen, a fierce gun shot heard in the distance, squealing tire tracks following soon after. I was to late. I coughed on end as i continued to run with all of the strength that i had left, my slim shadow now standing over her. She was so limp, so deathly limp that it didn't even look like her. Blood oozed out of her side, the immense metallic sign of weakness now smothering out of her agape mouth. I instantly fell to my covered knees, my shoulders throbbing with remorse and hatred. I knelt down to her lifeless form, slipping my index finger and my middle finger over her open eyelids, laying her to rest for eternity. "They'll pay for this." I whispered into her right ear, my cheek brushing past hers as a few simple tears escaped my own eyelids and mixing with the visible sweat that clung to my body with ferocity. They will pay for this. Maybe not soon, but they will defiantly. They had killed my life supply, the one person that i could count on with my soul, they murdered my sister.
Hearing the tremendous gun shot, people frantically ran into their secure homes, checking at least twice that they had locked each door and each and every window, their dim lights quickly flickering off as their similar curtains closed all at once in a rhythmic manner. Seeing this only anger me further. They were so afraid. So afraid that if they even hesitated to see if any body got hurt that they would be caught in the raging cross fire, 9th street against Wilshire 5. It was always this way, we knew how to fight the treacherous conditions of death, baggy jeans so you can run faster, a black hoodie which we could hide the guns that felt so familiar to my fingers now, the crisp outline bringing a smirk across my chapped lips as i lifted it into the enemies face, clutching onto it as if it were a precious toddler. My head bent down slightly, my trembling lips gently brushing over her lucid, pale cheek. I shook my head in disgust as i suddenly stood up, a hateful gleam filling my eyes within a mere fragment of a second. "I love you Carm," I whispered slowly into the gentle breeze, taking my time to roll the simple yet meaningful words across my tongue, knowing that was the last time i would ever say that to her and see her features that almost looked exactly like mine, shadowed cheek bones, big meaningful hazel eyes, full lips and smooth, thin brunette hair. I sniffed loudly, fiercely wiping underneath my eyes at the moisture that continued to run in annoyance. Blaring sirens pierced the chilled night, relieving me instantly, she would have a proper burial, her grave would be right next to mother and father's faded Grey tombstone. Good news for her, bad news for me. I knew that i had to get out of their as fast as i could; or, the police would accuse me of murder, since i was in fact the only person on the scene, her dried blood on my white shirt.
I sealed my eyes shut for a moment, taking in the scene. The soft breeze ruffled my hair, sending small straight pieces of brunette hair onto my eyes, tickling my cheek as it did so. I sighed against the night, silently praying that mother and father would take care of Carmen, saving a spot for me when it was my time finally, our perfect family finally getting to be together again in perfect harmony. The distant sirens now were even closer before, this simple sound bringing me to my senses. Acceleration pumped steadily in my veins as i mentally prepared myself for yet another breath taking run, not to mention i had to go into their territory to get to my own. I didn't have time to take the long way around, i had no choice.
Please share your critiques and opinions about it. :} I haven't proofread it yet so it's probably crap. ;'D
Theme song; My immortal - Evanescence
My eyes glazed over as i glanced to my right, my hands willingly clenching into fists, my footsteps instantly becoming hushed, my eyes aware, and my posture strict. Without hesitation, i dashed across the charcoal road, my bare arms pumping at my sides as blaring horns screeched into my ears with a sudden force that made me wince as barbaric drivers shouted curse words into my direction for running along the busy highway. But, i had to save her. I knew exactly what was coming next and i couldn't risk losing her. In my world, you stick up for yourself and your side, nothing more and certainly nothing less. But this was so much more then that. I had her back since day one and nothing could ever change that, even this looming night that scented death in the blissful air that clogged my lungs. Beads of tiny droplets of sweat were now visible on my tanned forehead, my breathing heavy and choppy, my legs shaking uneasily from the fierce run. My heart jerked so heavily that it made me gasp with shock, my legs now sprinting against the smooth pavement that had pieces of shattered glass spread over it. The shadowed figure that was now only a few blocks away from me yelled out to me hurriedly, their own arms pumping at their sides as they ran the opposite direction. I knew what this was. They were trying to protect me, and i knew exactly from what. My heart throbbed with acceleration as i soon rounded the steady corner of the sidewalk, my veins pulsing as my finger nails dug into my sticky skin. A deafening scream escaped from the shadows mouth as they clutched their abdomen, a fierce gun shot heard in the distance, squealing tire tracks following soon after. I was to late. I coughed on end as i continued to run with all of the strength that i had left, my slim shadow now standing over her. She was so limp, so deathly limp that it didn't even look like her. Blood oozed out of her side, the immense metallic sign of weakness now smothering out of her agape mouth. I instantly fell to my covered knees, my shoulders throbbing with remorse and hatred. I knelt down to her lifeless form, slipping my index finger and my middle finger over her open eyelids, laying her to rest for eternity. "They'll pay for this." I whispered into her right ear, my cheek brushing past hers as a few simple tears escaped my own eyelids and mixing with the visible sweat that clung to my body with ferocity. They will pay for this. Maybe not soon, but they will defiantly. They had killed my life supply, the one person that i could count on with my soul, they murdered my sister.
Hearing the tremendous gun shot, people frantically ran into their secure homes, checking at least twice that they had locked each door and each and every window, their dim lights quickly flickering off as their similar curtains closed all at once in a rhythmic manner. Seeing this only anger me further. They were so afraid. So afraid that if they even hesitated to see if any body got hurt that they would be caught in the raging cross fire, 9th street against Wilshire 5. It was always this way, we knew how to fight the treacherous conditions of death, baggy jeans so you can run faster, a black hoodie which we could hide the guns that felt so familiar to my fingers now, the crisp outline bringing a smirk across my chapped lips as i lifted it into the enemies face, clutching onto it as if it were a precious toddler. My head bent down slightly, my trembling lips gently brushing over her lucid, pale cheek. I shook my head in disgust as i suddenly stood up, a hateful gleam filling my eyes within a mere fragment of a second. "I love you Carm," I whispered slowly into the gentle breeze, taking my time to roll the simple yet meaningful words across my tongue, knowing that was the last time i would ever say that to her and see her features that almost looked exactly like mine, shadowed cheek bones, big meaningful hazel eyes, full lips and smooth, thin brunette hair. I sniffed loudly, fiercely wiping underneath my eyes at the moisture that continued to run in annoyance. Blaring sirens pierced the chilled night, relieving me instantly, she would have a proper burial, her grave would be right next to mother and father's faded Grey tombstone. Good news for her, bad news for me. I knew that i had to get out of their as fast as i could; or, the police would accuse me of murder, since i was in fact the only person on the scene, her dried blood on my white shirt.
I sealed my eyes shut for a moment, taking in the scene. The soft breeze ruffled my hair, sending small straight pieces of brunette hair onto my eyes, tickling my cheek as it did so. I sighed against the night, silently praying that mother and father would take care of Carmen, saving a spot for me when it was my time finally, our perfect family finally getting to be together again in perfect harmony. The distant sirens now were even closer before, this simple sound bringing me to my senses. Acceleration pumped steadily in my veins as i mentally prepared myself for yet another breath taking run, not to mention i had to go into their territory to get to my own. I didn't have time to take the long way around, i had no choice.